Dear God,

Where are You?

You’ve been so silent, and I don’t know what to do with that silence anymore. I’ve prayed to hear You, to understand Your plan, to feel Your presence. Scripture tells me to trust Your timing and not lean on my own understanding, but God….I’m confused.

There have been moments in my life when I prayed desperately for something. I begged You to open doors that You ultimately closed. At the time, I didn’t understand it. I thought those things were exactly what I needed, exactly what I wanted. I fought so hard against losing them.

But now, looking back, I see why You said no.

I see the protection.

I see the mercy.

I see the love hidden inside the disappointment.

And I am so very grateful.

But this time feels different. This time, I’m not praying for You to give me something. I’m praying for the opposite. I’m praying for You to please take something away, and yet You remain quiet.

God, I don’t understand.

Why is my mother still here, but not really here at all? She isn’t living, not truly. She’s tired. Haven’t her battles been enough? Haven’t the hard days already taken so much from her?

I don’t ask this out of anger. I ask this out of love. I want so badly for her to experience peace. Real peace. Eternal peace. Paradise with You.

So today, God, I come to You with a different kind of prayer. Every other time, I begged You not to take away the things I loved. I’m not asking You not to take something from me, but asking You to please let her rest. This wouldn’t be losing her; this would be me surrendering her into Your hands and trusting You to give her the peace she deserves.

Please let my mother be at peace.

Peace, Love, and Hugs!